Vibrant, Sexy, Authentic Connection WITH all of Life
Relationships of all kinds hold so much bounty: guidance, support, reflection, bliss, teachings, friendship, discomfort, surrender, and wild commitment.
Whether “in duet” with lover, child, surroundings, experiences, quiet spaces, or our very own soul, we can find aliveness in connectivity. No matter our relationship “status,” we can find romance within our own experience, within our own selves. How might remembering the act of loving, and all of the felt experiences that come from within, impact our falling in love with other?
The depth of any relationship is full of personal interpretation along with incredible intricate storytelling and weaving. We often cling to our unique tales as truth. How might these sagas change if we could see them with a fuller perspective?
Honoring our own self-knowing is a noble practice, yet we must also recognize that everything will always be subjective.
Do we make the choice to allow our subject to dance with the subject truth that is other?
If the desire is to create closeness, are we willing to be in a practice of cooperation?
Below are some suggestions for keeping relationships of all kinds vibrant, sexy, and authentic.
DEEPLY LISTEN: Be willing to listen to the story of someone, someplace, some moment. Gift yourself the present centeredness to hear the path of another. Notice when you are judging, comparing, running an old projection of what is being offered, or attempting to fix, or change the narrative to make yourself more comfortable. Invite acceptance for self and other as you witness the gestalt of receiving on so many levels. What can you discover about yourself, and how can you find a more intimate connection by receiving the outside scoop?
STAY ROOTED: As you open yourself up to the gorgeous energy and experience of someone or something outside of yourself, remember to stay rooted in your own self. Often the excitement of another’s adventures can trigger a veering of acceptance of our own narrative as perfect. The creativity of a friend’s fancies can sound like the most remarkable of ideas! The beloved other is still other, and the differences are exquisite treasures that neither add to nor take away from you. Practice being in love with you, and recognizing what a gift that self-love is in a co-creation of relationship.
NOTICE THE BREATH: Get to know the breath of any dynamic. How do you syncopate with it? Where is there struggle? Can you notice the connection of coming together and moving apart? Can you soften into the dance of one energy inhaling, while the other is exhaling, only to have it change again? Can you expand your thresholds for the deepest inhale, and exhale. One may seem more vulnerable to you depending on your his/herstory.
COME BACK: All relationships require a discipline of patience, and commitment. Maybe you know this revisiting in relationship to your meditation practice, or your self-care rituals. Perhaps this daily return, which often requires effort, brings glimpses of freedom from our illusory separateness and from our tendencies to fight or flee from that which we perceive as threat to our selfhood.
LOVE WHAT IS: Notice what is magnificent about this person, place, or experience! Love what IS! There is always a nugget to connect with in each season, even in the fires of a desert summer, or the continued greys of a long winter. Find the reverence for the magic of this dynamic that you are in. Speak it. Dance it. Feel it! Start to recognize the wakefulness within when opening to an exploration of brilliance all around.
NURTURE: Nurture yourself and other. Bring closeness through non-verbal communications of seeing what is in front of you, hearing without words, smelling (yes, smelling) the experience, and touching with your hands and heart. Let your whole being fall in love with a moment that may become many moments. Falling in love by way of giving and receiving has the potential to make more peace all around.
May you relax into the expansion of living with connection to all of life! And may it be delightful!